Christmas is almost here, and there are lots and lots of lovely images like this one, online, and it really does put one in a nice christmassy mood. Next year, I've promised myself that I will actually do something like this with my calligraphy nibs and inks and paints. Next year. Now, they're all snugly wrapped up for the big move!

Note to self: Stuff I need to tell my doctor, when I see him:

First: Every day, around 12 to 2 pm, I feel my feet begin to feel tight with edema. My left foot more than my right. Before this, they'd feel kinda biggish in the evening, after dinner. Around 7.30/8-ish. Now, it's moved up. Since it's after lunch, all I need do is sit with my feet raised, and it sorta eases. But, when evening comes around, they're 'tight' again. That's the best word I can find to describe how they feel: Tight. Because they seem to be pumped up with water, and the skin feels tight. I imagine that my toes look like big, fat, cocktail sausages, but they don't, actually. It just feels that way. If I press a finger into the flesh of my foot, it leaves a depression that takes a bit to spring back. That's edema, I'm told. Nice.

I am already on a diuretic, and I worry that it's dosage will be increased, OR that I will be put on another one, as well. I was on spironolactone before, but my potassium levels rose, so I had to go off it.

Second: After every meal, I feel nauseous. Isn't that just wonderful?! Hahahah. At first, I felt I must be eating too much, so I eased back on the quantity of food at a meal. No change. Nausea. Today, after my coffee, I feel nauseous. Omg, seriously?! All I have for breakfast is a cup of coffee: Instant, some milk, and that's it. And I'm nauseous?!

Honestly, I sometimes feel that my stomach would be most pleased to be just left alone, with nothing in it. But, I do get hungry, and when water isn't enough to quell the growl, I have to look for food. A little slice of fruit doesn't seem to upset it, but not a full meal. Sigh.

Well, it is going down in a note-to-doctor, and I will try not to think about it until I see him.

It will be a quiet Christmas, this year. Just Chuan and me, here in PD. So, it will be just another day in the week!

And soon, we'll be outta here 😁 (that emoji is described as: Grinning face with smiling eyes. EXACTLY how I feel about moving back to KL)

almost Christmas time

Christmas is almost here, not that I celebrate it or anything. But, I do love trees, and the magic of the Christmas tree is something beautiful. But, this year, with my house in a mess because of our move to KL... well, not this year. There'll be a tree next year! I have spoken ☺

In early December, we went to IJN to collect my sildenafil (they only let me have about two month's supply at any one time), and also to get the date for my next appointment, which was pending. I see my doctor on the 8th of January. I'll have the usual blood test - mainly to see if my cholesterol number has fallen - and the 6-minute walk. Neither worries me, so I'm good.

Whenever I go to IJN, I see it milling with people who are there for their hearts, and that always amazes me. Always. I am not alone, eh? Hahahah. But, I also see people who are quite ill, and it reminds me that that awaits me, and I sorta feel a bit sorry for myself, for a bit lah. I asked Chuan what he thinks, and if his mind also goes along that route, and he says he doesn't let it: I think about now, he says. It's good, and he's happy for that.

And so I let a little tear trickle down my eye, and think about other things! Hahahah.

My days have been quiet, as usual. Doing the usual things (see pix above!), and feeling all right. Except for this shoulder-ache that has been bugging me for more than two months, now. Sometimes, I feel it's getting better, but at other times - like now - I feel it's getting worse. Chuan looks for trigger-points near my shoulder, and presses on them, and the pain eases, but it only comes back again to bug me. And, it has to be my right shoulder, of course. The one with the hand that I use for practically everything, so I'm trying to NOT reach out with it but to switch to my left hand, when I need to do anything. It is NOT easy!

I tried switching my mouse to my left hand, but that totally didn't work! Hahahah. So, I've hidden the mouse behind my monitor, and use the touch-pad instead. I actually love the touch-pad, but I remember that I hurt my finger, years ago, so I stopped using it and moved to the mouse. If my finger now starts to hurt, I think I will just cut off my right arm. That sounds like a pretty good solution. 😖

But, on a positive note, I can now walk continuously for 35 minutes. Yay and woohooooo! and all that. I am now trying to keep to that time, but to walk faster. That's because the 6-minute walk is about the distance you walk in 6 minutes (and how you feel after it; they measure your heart-rate, and your pressure - so you can't lie that you're feeling fine, when you're actually dying lah!). So now, I can walk for a good amount of time, but if I walk faster, I can increase my distance, and that would be a good thing. It will show that the meds are working, and that I am well.

And I AM well. I feel very good, and almost not ill, at all. My breathing is good, I seldom feel the need for a lie-down in the middle of the morning. And sometimes, I can even forget that I have PH and go about feeling like a normal person. Except for the shoulder-ache that's making feel yucks.

When I see my doctor in January, I am going to ask him if I can go off the Lipanthyl and see if the shoulder-ache goes away. It is the same kind of ache that I had, years ago, when I was put on a statin. My cholesterol readings righted themselves, on their own, then. Now, they're being a pain, and I don't know why.

Ahh well, we'll see how it goes.

For now, I will deluge Facebook with my pictures of Christmas, and all the warm, cozy images that the fills the internet. A lovely time of the year, when people are winding down, thinking of happy things, and looking forward to a new, and better year, ahead.

Update: I just stepped on the scales, and I've lost some weight. Since 28 July 2016, I have lost 17 kg (37.4 lbs).  0.7 kg since the last time I weighed myself, and I'm so happy I haven't put on any weight - like I did previously. Little by little, I am losing the fat, especially around my belly. So I am glad that I am doing something right!