I wrote this at 3 a.m. this morning.
I am filling up with air, and I am fit to burst!!!
It's been a while since the last time this happened, but it's happening now. As I shoved the last bit of chocolate in my mouth, I wondered if this would be in store. And it was. How fun to be right. NOT!
Just burped! Yay!
My stomach is distended, and it hurts. Right up to where my diaphragm must be, I think. I need to sit up straight, and pray it doesn't get worse. Soon, this distention will ease.
I just looked up the word 'distention' to check its spelling, and it exactly describes how this feels: 'the state of being distended, enlarged, swollen from internal pressure'. Yup. Hell on earth.
This time around, it isn't that bad. It's bad, but I don't feel I'll die from the pain. I know it will ease. Though, this hasn't always been the case.
It has been worse! So bad, in fact, that after half an hour, I ask Chuan to take me to emergency. I cannot bear the pain. I think that something very wrong is happening inside me! We leave at around 5 in the morning, and it is black outside. I want to double up in pain, but I can't. It only makes the pain worse. Sit up straight, Pat!
We leave the girls in the patio, and we're off. The hospital is about 30 minutes away, but when you're in pain, that's a long, long time. That is far, far away.
Fifteen minutes into the journey, I can feel the distention easing. Is that really happening? It is! It is!!!
I tell Chuan, and in two minutes we're making a u-turn and heading home. I apologise and apologise, and Chuan says it's all right. It's not. I feel like a complete doofus.
As it did then, it is happening now: The pain is easing. I can feel my stomach relaxing. Another minty burp! Hahahah. Oh, don't be disgusted. Wait till you're all distended and hurting, and wanting to just jab your stomach with a knitting needle.
I'm feeling so much better now. Disflatyl rocks my world!!!
Oh, and one swig of Gaviscon, from my bedside table, as well. I always wake to a sour stomach, before it escalates to pain. If it's just a sour stomach - a bit of reflux - then, that swig works it's magic and I fall asleep again, easily.
This time, the swig didn't work.
This time, the culprit is chocolate. A little too much of Cadbury chocolate, with nuts. And some juicy California raisins. I didn't eat the whole bar. I promise! But, still, I ate too much, didn't I?
It's not the chocolate, it's the milk. Or rather, the lactose in it.
It's the same with potato crisps - I've read that they contain lactose - and crisps set my stomach monsters off, too. I had too much crisps one night, and I remember sitting up, like this, a few hours later. Crippling crisps.
I'm feeling almost human, again. This time, it's taken about 15 minutes - from onset of pain, to chewing the disflatyl, to the easing of pain. Phew.
Four hours later, I'm hoping that someone would take a brick to my head and end the pain.
You want to know the worst place to be in pain? In a hospital. I am so not joking.
You feel the pain coming on. You call the nurse, and ask for help. They'll get you something, they say. The pain gets worse. The pain gets worser still (worser is not a word? Who knew!) Your husband rubs your back, and does NOT say you shouldn't have eaten that cheesecake. He rings the bell for the nurse. She buzzes in, and says they've called the pharmacy, and they're waiting for the medicine to be sent up. We say, " Ahh . . . ." Meanwhile? Just continue groaning in pain, and wishing for death's release.
Let's recap:
Chocolate, potato crisps, cheesecake - I think the common denominators are too much carbohydrate, sugar, and lactose. To my mind, at least. And it's this, plus sildenafil that's the recipe for all this fun.
Now, the question remains: WHEN will I learn to not do this again?
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| Yes, that's pretty much the size of the bubble inside me. Cross my heat and hope to die. But please don't stick a needle in my eye. Stick it in my stomach! |
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