Most of my days are lazy days. I sit on my bum and go online and read the news, check on my mail, and then visit Facebook. Sometimes, I'll also visit Instagram, or Pinterest. Not rivetingly exciting, but that's usually how I spend my mornings.
Sometimes, I read. Usually, on my Kindle - because I can set the font-size a little larger for days when I feel my eyes need help. If I read a book, I need to sit by a window, in goooooooood light - or my fixed-in lenses don't work so well.
Once in a while, I'll get off my arse and actually do some art. I have done a couple of mandalas, using a bit of my acrylic paint. But, I've promised to not work with acrylic paints anymore because they have formaldehyde as a preservative, and my lungs don't need that kinda excitement, thankyouverymuch!
(I've packed up all my acrylic paints and stuff to give to a friend!)
I also doodle, sometimes. Or work on mandalas.
For some reason, my watercolour muse seems to be away on holiday. Probably on distant Mars or Neptune.
After an hour or two of doing anything, I usually have to have a bit of a lie-down.
I do a lot of resting!
When I was young, resting was for lazy arses. My mum would get so mad with us for just lying around doing nothing (reading!). We needed to be up and about: cleaning stuff, mopping floors, shimming up the walls dusting corners. Not that we did much of that - Mum kept our home spotless all by herself! Our main 'work' was keeping it that way, or else . . . .
But, my brain has been conditioned, and so sitting on one's arse is a no-no. So, I've yet to be one-hundred percent comfortable to just be sitting around, or lying around, doing nothing.
Most of what needs to get done at home is gotten done by Chuan. And no one is more UNLIKE my mother than Chuan is. He mops the house smiling. When he's cooking, he does a little Ringo Starr with his knife on the board - like when he's chopping garlic. And Chinese food uses a lot of garlic!
He is happy!
But, because my mother was never happy slogging to the bone, I am often in doubt about Chuan being really happy. Then, I get very uncomfortable with my resting all the time.
I feel like a fraud.
I feel like I am pretending.
Maybe I should just get off my arse and do something. Sweep. Mop. Make like Michelangelo: Paint the ceiling. Something!
I do do some stuff: I do the laundry, every few days. And fold it all, and put it all away. I dust the bookshelves, once in a while. I sweep the house, sometimes. I loaded the dishwasher - when it used to work.
Take the dogs out for their toilette, every few hours or so. When I forget, Jolie will give me a loud-dachshund shout, and I'll be reminded.
But, I am tired many times during the day. After a meal, is one of the times I need a rest. Especially, if I've eaten a bit too much. Then, I am even more tired!
After a shower, is another time. It only takes about 10 minutes or so. 15, if it's my wash-my-hair day. But even so, after that, I need to rest! Showers are quite exhausting. They are meant to be lukewarm, because hot water makes one's blood pressure drop, and that can cause one to pengsan. Faint. We don't want that.
When I told my daughter that I had to rest after my shower, she said she didn't know if I was being serious, or joking! Hahahah. I know, right?! What on earth do I get up to in a shower to get so tired after it?! If I knew, I'd tell you!
By 8 at night, I am quite, quite tired. So, I have decided that I will no longer accept dinner invitations. Because by 8, my body has had enough of walking around, and sitting, and resting, and other exhausting stuff! It is time to wind down, and get ready for a nice, long rest. Usually, by about 10, I'm horizontal and ready for the eyelids to drop into place.
Little by little, I am learning about this disease and I'm also learning about me. Things are different, and I am wrapping my mind around how I need to change and adapt to them. I have never been a very get-up-and-go kinda person, but this is taking me to a whole new low! Hahahahah.
Note to self: Get used to being tired. But, more importantly, get used to not feeling guilty about needing to rest!
Make this my new credo:
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| That's me: Horizontal, a lot of the time! |
